Don’t compare your lockdown life with others

After another annoyingly trite fight with my husband, which btw has now become a part of our lockdown morning routine, I grabbed my phone for a breather. Which was a mistake, I realized later. Thanks to all my whatsapp and Insta updates, I was now painfully aware of so many sinfully healthy ways to use the lockdown period to build ourselves and our family up – physically, mentally, emotionally and in all -ally ways. Immediately my heart started to beat faster than before, as I realized I haven’t been doing any of the things my different friends were doing in this time to perfect themselves. I placed my phone down quietly, not wanting to have an anxiety attack by reading all that I should be doing in order to not be having an anxiety attack.

I mean seriously. So many suggestions by so many good hearted people. There were mothers who enrolled their 7 year old to online robotics class, proudly sharing videos of their kid’s coding skill (!!) and highly recommending others to join. There were suggestions by good souls on what kind of Pranayama and yoga we should be doing with our family to keep our inner selves free from ALL viruses. There were videos on everyday ab exercises from a friend, to get rid of all the ab fat I might have collected in my lockdown period.  Wonder how she knew. So many shares of yummy food that people make together as a family, as part of their rich bonding experience. The update on the Udemy course that someone completed, challenging themselves in this lockdown..and many such more.

Of course, all these videos and advice come from a good place, no doubts on that. But I do wonder, if everyone takes these well-intentioned updates from well-wishers in the right way. If you are one to don’t care about what others are doing and go about your business the same old way you do, or you are one to get inspired by them , that’s ok. But if you are one, who goes into either a high BP state rushing to do what all others are doing for the sake of not missing out, or, go to a depressed state because you aren’t able to do what the rest of the world (in your eyes) are doing, then this post is for you.

No idea what I mean? Does seeing a parent share an update of a cool video game their 10 year old created in an online animation class, result in you shouting at your kid who is watching a cartoon instead of making one, and immediately make you go on a mission to find the best online animation class for your kid? Does getting to know that your friend’s partner helps them in the kitchen everyday, make you go into a depression mode what’s wrong with your partner? Then, yeah you belong to the latter group. 

See, we have become even more connected during this social distancing times, thanks to all networking apps, so even if we don’t ask for updates from others, we get to know what they are doing.  So the least we can do is avoid networking apps, in case that gets us worked up. For the sake of our sanity, we got to learn to take care of ourselves in the way we know how to, not caring about the 10 suggestions from our 10 contacts on how they are handling their lockdown period. Comparing our friends’ lives with ours’ and taking that as as a scale to judge our self worth will never make us feel truly happy.

Maybe you think I am crazy, but believe me, if you have been doing what you have normally been doing before lockdown, that’s completely ok (hoping you know the right from the wrong, of course). Focus on your life, and don’t be boggled down by updates from others. Don’t get too depressed worrying that you haven’t done anything remarkably different during this lockdown. 

I mean at this point, all that we need to do is focus on our mental health and not think too much about whether we are missing out on anything else. If you can meditate, do it. If you can’t, don’t. If you have time to read, read on. If you want to listen to songs, do that. If watching a TV series makes you feel happy, do that. If you want to take a course, do that. Do your own thing. That which makes you happy and calm. To each his own. If your kid likes to play around let him/her do it. Don’t push them to do something because another friend of yours is doing so. What works for them, might not work for you to make you happy. We aren’t made that way. 

A friend of mine said that we are like dogs, that we need to be walked everyday, else we will go nuts. Entirely true. We have already woken up our crazy nerve by being cooped up inside, now we’ve got to stop comparing our lives with all our social networking contacts’, to avoid going completely berserk.

At the end of the lockdown, we aren’t going to remember how many courses we took, or how much extra work our kids did to prepare for his next grade, but we will remember what fun activities we did to make us all happy. Let’s try to make ourselves smile, in the way only we know how to. Let what others do in their locked home, stay in their home.