The art of ignoring

Ignore. Does the word sound rude to you? If so, think again. It is one of the positive words that helps to give mental peace when done correctly to the right people at the right time. If you didn’t know already, this post is gonna be all about the glory of ignoring something/someone 🙂

There are two ways to ignore someone or something – the selfish way and the unselfish way. The selfish way is used when you want to hurt someone real bad and you ignore them. The unselfish way of ignoring someone is used to avoid unnecessary quarrels and avoid hurting yourself and someone else. The unselfish way is definitely an art that everyone needs to master!

So let’s discuss the unselfish way of ignoring someone. This means you know that a person was wrong to say or do something, but instead of getting into an argument and fighting about it, you choose to ignore what they said and carry on with your life. It may sound easy but in reality it’s not. It requires lot of will power to ignore something or someone, when your first instinct tells you to argue about it.

Think about it. Was it easy for you to ignore someone when they said something to provoke your emotions, be it anger or sorrow? What if that someone was a friend or relative who continues to be the same way even after you spoke up once? There are so many such people we come across in our daily life. Think about that relative who badgers you about your choice of education or profession. Or the stranger who pokes their nose to understand why you are “still” single.. Or a relative who torments you on when you are going to have kids. Or a co-worker who always passes unfunny comments..Or a someone you know who continues to hurt you by their words or actions..you get the idea, right?

The first instinct for all of us in any such situations would be to get into an argument with them or make them understand that they are wrong and you are right. Sometimes it may work when the person across you is a good listener/person. But what if you know for sure, nothing you say will change their mind and that they will continue to taunt you by their words?  A person can be advised twice, or thrice even, to make them understand what they did or said was hurtful or inappropriate. But what if they don’t change their attitude? So that’s when the art of ignoring comes in handy.

When they speak, we just need to tune them out and never take it to heart (or even the ear for that matter :)). I mean what exactly are we trying to accomplish by trying to convince them to change their mind? Think about whether their opinions really matter to you. When you know it is impossible to change someone, why bother arguing with them? I say, let’s resort to ignoring that someone or that something which bothers you. I always think that is a great way to rid ourself of unnecessary heartaches.

I read in article (written by Willy Ph.Felthuis) that most parents would know the “right” way of ignoring, because they must have done it at some point or the other to their kids to make them change their habits. As you know kids sometimes like to do something wrong/mischievous to provoke the grown-ups, just to get their attention. At those times, most grown-ups resort to doing one of the three – (1) they get angry and shout out (2) they distract the kid with something else (3) they choose to ignore what the kid is doing with the thought that he/she will automatically stop acting up. Most parents would agree that (2) and (3) would work wonders on kids.

Now, do you know wonder why (3) works on kids? I think it’s because most kids already know what they did was wrong (provided they have done it once already and been advised), and they do it just to provoke their parents. So when they(kids) don’t get the attention they “expected” to get, meaning, if the parents chose to ignore the action of the kid, something clicks in their brain and they resort to doing something else that might exert some reaction from their parents.

I think we should try the same with adults as well. To deal with those who clearly know what they are doing is wrong but continue to be the same, I think we should resort to taking action (3) – ignoring them. IF luck is on our side, once they realize they are being ignored, they might change their attitude. If not, well, no one is hurt this way! And hands down, it beats arguing with them and proving your point. So next time, when you come across such a person, quit worrying, IGNORE them, it will make your life much happier! Let’s embrace the art of ignoring stuff that pains us. We all should remember to laugh a lot, and live our life not to get other’s approval but to make ourself happy. And when we are happy, people who matter to us will be happy 🙂

Disclaimer – Views expressed in the post are solely the author’s. No scientific base exists anywhere 🙂

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padhs2k Written by:

Another dream-chaser.

11 Comments

  1. Dr.capt .G. Raghavelu.
    October 16
    Reply

    yes madam you realized the time tested technique you call it an ART. Indian culture is based on this time tested principle.

    • padhs2k
      October 16
      Reply

      🙂 Very true Dr. appa! Most of us take stuff to heart and fret about it. I guess we should all embrace the time tested technique of ignoring stuff that pains us.

  2. I would add, ignore and vent on your blog 😉 More so when your blog existence isn’t known to your circle 😀

    • padhs2k
      October 16
      Reply

      Hmm…Gai..ne enna sola varenu purilayae..konjam details please 🙂

  3. Anonymous
    October 17
    Reply

    each and every person needs to do otherwise you will not have a peaceful life and environment,Permanent ignoring is good in many things.things. .Saying is easier than done.Is that cliche is to be remembered often?

    • padhs2k
      October 18
      Reply

      Very true!

  4. Misra
    October 17
    Reply

    Like this you are in ignorance at best.

    • padhs2k
      October 18
      Reply

      Adithya Misra,
      I know you are pissed off by my post on how society treats women and men differently in the name of traditions. I read your comments in there and also here. All I can say is, I am glad to say I believe what I write, I ignore stuff that can’t be changed.

  5. Misra
    October 21
    Reply

    Yes I was pissed off by your immature ideology.

    Dodge this – I would extend your logic and say God also treated men and women differently. Sperms and eggs per your logic should have been distributed equally between sexes. Before conception, partners should test their strengths and the fittest should decide who shall bear the pregnancy.

    My dear friend, equality in Indian marriage system is in goal and not in process – by default men and women are different and they need different treatment for annihilating arrogance generating ego-sense. Our system takes enough care of these extreme subtleties of successful marriage and thus is great.

    • padhs2k
      October 21
      Reply

      First off, Happy Diwali Misra!
      And secondly, I agree God made men and women biologically different. And they are definitely different from those aspects and the functions related to that. But if you look at my post, nothing I mentioned was related to a biological factor of men and women. I am not against all the traditions in India, I am just stating we should find out more about each tradition and see if you it makes sense to follow that particular one.

  6. Misra
    October 22
    Reply

    All religions and traditions agree on annihilating ego-sense and seeking happiness in sacrificing for the sake of loved ones. This is our job and let’s see the results in looong-term. We Indians have been known to use more of heart and less of head in our relations – that gave prime importance to seeking happiness through sacrificing for loved ones – again it’s for both and anyone can take such initiative. Those who take initiative might get exploited, but fear has less place in faith.

    When required at offices and competitions, we Indians proved our mettle in using our heads too.

    Let’s take that tradition from our elders in our own families of this generation and take it forward to our next generations and be the flag-bearers of our junior’s happiness families as well.

    Thx n happy diwali.

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