The art of ignoring

Ignore. Does the word sound rude to you? If so, think again. It is one of the positive words that helps to give mental peace when done correctly to the right people at the right time. If you didn’t know already, this post is gonna be all about the glory of ignoring something/someone 🙂

There are two ways to ignore someone or something – the selfish way and the unselfish way. The selfish way is used when you want to hurt someone real bad and you ignore them. The unselfish way of ignoring someone is used to avoid unnecessary quarrels and avoid hurting yourself and someone else. The unselfish way is definitely an art that everyone needs to master!

So let’s discuss the unselfish way of ignoring someone. This means you know that a person was wrong to say or do something, but instead of getting into an argument and fighting about it, you choose to ignore what they said and carry on with your life. It may sound easy but in reality it’s not. It requires lot of will power to ignore something or someone, when your first instinct tells you to argue about it.

Think about it. Was it easy for you to ignore someone when they said something to provoke your emotions, be it anger or sorrow? What if that someone was a friend or relative who continues to be the same way even after you spoke up once? There are so many such people we come across in our daily life. Think about that relative who badgers you about your choice of education or profession. Or the stranger who pokes their nose to understand why you are “still” single.. Or a relative who torments you on when you are going to have kids. Or a co-worker who always passes unfunny comments..Or a someone you know who continues to hurt you by their words or actions..you get the idea, right?

The first instinct for all of us in any such situations would be to get into an argument with them or make them understand that they are wrong and you are right. Sometimes it may work when the person across you is a good listener/person. But what if you know for sure, nothing you say will change their mind and that they will continue to taunt you by their words?  A person can be advised twice, or thrice even, to make them understand what they did or said was hurtful or inappropriate. But what if they don’t change their attitude? So that’s when the art of ignoring comes in handy.

When they speak, we just need to tune them out and never take it to heart (or even the ear for that matter :)). I mean what exactly are we trying to accomplish by trying to convince them to change their mind? Think about whether their opinions really matter to you. When you know it is impossible to change someone, why bother arguing with them? I say, let’s resort to ignoring that someone or that something which bothers you. I always think that is a great way to rid ourself of unnecessary heartaches.

I read in article (written by Willy Ph.Felthuis) that most parents would know the “right” way of ignoring, because they must have done it at some point or the other to their kids to make them change their habits. As you know kids sometimes like to do something wrong/mischievous to provoke the grown-ups, just to get their attention. At those times, most grown-ups resort to doing one of the three – (1) they get angry and shout out (2) they distract the kid with something else (3) they choose to ignore what the kid is doing with the thought that he/she will automatically stop acting up. Most parents would agree that (2) and (3) would work wonders on kids.

Now, do you know wonder why (3) works on kids? I think it’s because most kids already know what they did was wrong (provided they have done it once already and been advised), and they do it just to provoke their parents. So when they(kids) don’t get the attention they “expected” to get, meaning, if the parents chose to ignore the action of the kid, something clicks in their brain and they resort to doing something else that might exert some reaction from their parents.

I think we should try the same with adults as well. To deal with those who clearly know what they are doing is wrong but continue to be the same, I think we should resort to taking action (3) – ignoring them. IF luck is on our side, once they realize they are being ignored, they might change their attitude. If not, well, no one is hurt this way! And hands down, it beats arguing with them and proving your point. So next time, when you come across such a person, quit worrying, IGNORE them, it will make your life much happier! Let’s embrace the art of ignoring stuff that pains us. We all should remember to laugh a lot, and live our life not to get other’s approval but to make ourself happy. And when we are happy, people who matter to us will be happy 🙂

Disclaimer – Views expressed in the post are solely the author’s. No scientific base exists anywhere 🙂