Five Sentence Fiction – Family

Every evening, for the past 2 months, when Raj came back from office, it was the same story he had to listen to.

It was either that the beautiful daughter in law did not do any work that day or that she never talked properly to her or that she was never home to look after her.

At first he bore with it silently, not wishing to hurt his mother, and also thinking that the situation might change after some time, but only newer and puerile complaints got added day after day, frustrating him with every passing second.

But today evening, as he stretched on the sofa trying to forget his meeting with his obnoxious boss, he could feel his migraine slowly pushing its way up as he listened to the mindless bickering in the background, and he immediately knew he had to end this at once, even if it would upset his mother in the process.

With a determined face he walked swiftly to his mother, grabbed the remote near her chair, switched off the stupid TV serial and heaved a sigh of relief.

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padhs2k Written by:

Another dream-chaser.

13 Comments

  1. May 13
    Reply

    Very good narration and a thoughtful attempt with subtle emotion. Good one!

    • padhs2k
      May 13
      Reply

      Thank you Gowtham!

  2. Subs
    May 13
    Reply

    Ha ha .. very good one Padhs

    • padhs2k
      May 13
      Reply

      Thanks Subs! 🙂

  3. Anonymous
    May 13
    Reply

    Paddhu, a very good narrative and oru kallil irandu maangay!

  4. Ha! I like the unexpected twist of an ending. Good job!

    • padhs2k
      May 13
      Reply

      Thank you McGuffy Ann! Appreciate you dropping by 🙂

  5. govindasaqmy Raghavelu
    May 13
    Reply

    paddhu, it is a nice narrative and also ore kallil irandu maangaay!

    • padhs2k
      May 13
      Reply

      Thanks Dr appa! 🙂

    • padhs2k
      May 13
      Reply

      Thank you Scarlet Embers! Glad that you liked it 🙂

  6. May 13
    Reply

    Very well pulled off and well written. Only, the second line doesn’t fit with the last one or so I think. Best Wishes!

    • padhs2k
      May 13
      Reply

      Thanks Shanx! Appreciate your comments and made me go back to the second line. Is it the “her” which stands out to you? If that was, I kept that there intentionally with the hope that readers would form an idea of who “her” is from the third line 🙂

Yes, go on, tell me what you think!